Nickelodeon Universe
Mall of America
Bloomington, Minnesota
January 31, 2026
The Squidward bench in Nickelodeon Universe at the Mall of America is quite popular with people wanting to take pictures there. On one particularly frigid Saturday in January, I was at the mall fairly early, before the rides in Nickelodeon Universe were open for the day and the crowds arrived. I decided to use the Squidward bench for park bench prayer while I had the chance and fully embrace the goofiness of it.
Just for fun, I searched online for any quotes by Squidward from the SpongeBob SquarePants franchise that maybe could inspire my meditation, but Squidward is quite a cynical and sarcastic character. Then I came across an exchange in an episode where SpongeBob is trying to get Squidward to try a Krabby Patty “because it’s good for you,” to which Squidward responds, “That thing is a heart attack on a bun!” SpongeBob quips back, “No, Squidward, I meant… good for your soul.” It made me think of a saying I’ve seen many times on cutesy artwork: “Whatever is good for your soul, do that.” Perfect.
Now granted, I could probably convince myself eating an entire bag of dill pickle potato chips is good for my soul, so my park bench prayer meditation needed to discern what was truly good for my soul and assess whether or not I was doing it. That day next to Squidward was day 333 of park bench prayer for me, and all I could think about was that this (park bench prayer)…this is what is good for my soul.
For the record, there were still a fair amount of mall walkers cutting through Nickelodeon Universe, and I got a lot of chuckles from people passing by. One lady even insisted on taking my picture. Then there was the girl about 12 or so that jumped when I moved and then exclaimed, “Oh my gosh, I thought she was a statue too…she was sitting so still!” Who knew park bench prayer could be so entertaining?